Today I made a list of all the things that emasculate me;

1. The world.

It turned out to be a lot shorter than I thought it would be.  I contemplated listing some more specific subsections but then I realised I probably wouldn’t have enough paper.

If I did have the paper I know one of the subsections would be my housemate Gingell (as previously mentioned I should probably write a post about my housemates, although this would require some preparation).  Gingell is taller than me, stronger than me and the Wii Fit thinks she has better balance.

Surely I must be able to beat her at something, I made a list;

1. Folding napkins into fan shapes (although she’s probably perfected this since December)
2. Walking in heels (this is theoretical, I’ve never seen her in heels)
3. Blogging

The only problem is if I don’t blog today then I lose.  Yes, I’ve blogged for eight days in a row but that doesn’t count.  We both have to blog on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  She’s already written about the health benefits of running, why she herself runs and then rounded it all off with a trendy Nike video.  She says she’s got posts lined up until next week, whether this is true or whether she’s just trying to psych me out I don’t know.

I contemplated mocking jogging but, shocking as this may seem, I’m not against it.  I tried it a few times and, even though she tells me I run like a supermodel (I think this was meant as an insult), it was good.

By good I mean I didn’t die.

Then I thought about mocking Nike, I even searched YouTube for some spoof Nike adverts but the results were disappointing.  In the end though Nike seemed an unfair target, after all they made my shoes (the Nike 6.0 Air Zoom Oncore Men’s Skate Shoe.  I had to Google that, I just liked the colour scheme and stitching detail.  I very much doubt Gingell buys things based on whether they’re pwetty).

This left me with very little to blog.  I scrabbled around in the drafts folder for a while.  217 words on milk and cereal (against), 250 words on the Bible (mixed) and 191 words on steak (wholeheartedly endorse).  None of these seemed ready to be pushed out into the public domain.

I have an out of focus picture of some steak and my friend Holly has challenged me to eat an apple a day for a month.  No, I couldn’t make anything out of these either.

I checked my WordPress blog stats and tried to write something based on those;

As far as I know there is only one person who decides if you get to see Alesha Dixon naked.  Her name is Alesha Dixon.  Visiting my site is not going to help you.

It was at this point that I realised blogging was too much like hard work and decided to watch The Big Bang Theory instead.  I think you should too.