It’s been twelve days since my non-kosher buddy, Mr Piggles, wiggled his way into my house and into my heart.  Let’s assess the damage.

For those still confused by the format; for every forbidden word I use during Lent, I put one pound in Mr Piggles and on 11th April I put the sum total towards sponsoring Gingell in her 10k race for Lupus UK.

Monday 2nd March

Subtotal: £0

Tuesday 3rd March

17:45 – “‘Fury over Cherwell editors’ infant b*****y party’”  I was reading snippets of various comments on this news story to Baines and suggesting she do something similar (that is a satirical newspaper that goes heavy on Nazis, Klansmen and pornography).

Subtotal: £1

Wednesday 4th March

13:20 – “Originally it was a story to warn girls against putting it about, she gets in bed with the wolf and is eaten.  That’s why she wears red because she’s a h*.” I was explaining the origins of Little Red Riding Hood to Gingell.  Never seen the word h* censored before, it looks ridiculous.

Subtotal: £1

Thursday 5th March

17:00 – “H*** yeah.” The Wii Fit asked me if I’d been exercising regularly, it seemed a suitably sarcastic response.

19:35 – “Where the h***?” Trying to locate my friends in the audience of a play.

Subtotal: £2

Friday 6th March

19:00 – “How the h***?” I try to comprehend why my new hula hooping technique is not being recognised by the Wii Fit.  Baines’ record will remain unbroken until tomorrow when Gingell will smash it to pieces.

Subtotal: £1

Saturday 7th March

Subtotal: £0

Sunday 8th March

2:22 – “aww, why should you care what he thinks anyway? (and why is he f***ing people in your loo?)”  It was a valid question, next time I shall try and use more delicate phrasing when instant messaging.

Subtotal: £1

Week Two Total: £6
Grand Total: £16

The first full week of Lent and I’ve sworn less in it than I did in the five day wannabe week.  I’m definitely getting better, the h*** word is still present but is being used less and there is less cursing at inanimate objects.  While last week’s most unusual cause of cursing was Beyoncé Knowles, this week joint first place is held by The Guardian and the Wii Fit.

Average Cost of Lent per Day: £1.33