Sometimes I try and imagine what the audience of this blog want, sometimes we have imaginary conversations. The other day we had one in which you complained about me replacing Mr Piggles with black people and I called you racist, sorry.

In reality Piggles has been in no fit state to grace the pages of this blog.  Since the first week, in which he scored £10, the amount I’ve been spending on swearing has plummeted.  No longer able to fund his illicit truffle habit my pork based friend has turned to value gin.  It is a tragic shame.

Week Five Total: £1 (I described someone’s modelling photos as “kick a**.” I’m not mentioning her name again, she’ll only grow vain).
Grand Total: £23

Average Cost of Lent per Day: 70p