While the majority are tired of me picking over the bones of my finances, some people want to know more (when I say people I mean the taxman and the Student Loan Company) and to find out they keep sending me lots of forms. So, before I do last week’s finances here is a breakdown.

Not Learning Not Earning

When I returned from China (Friday 22nd August, I have eyewitnesses to testify if necessary) I returned to a large amount of mail.  Some of it was from Staffordshire University telling me my degree had been terminated.  In a letter dated 21 October 2008 (duplicates can be provided) the Student Loan Company told me “that you suspended your studies on 18/04/08″.  While I recognise that my degree was terminated while I was in Asia the fact that I had suspended my own studies back in April was news to me.  Based on this fact 19th April to 13th October 2008 classes as a period of “not earning”.

Unicom

From Monday 14th till Monday 20th October I worked as a telesales operative at Unicom.  I earnt £275.88 (photocopies of payslip and P45).  Ticking the “employed” box here.

Not Earning

Tuesday 21st October to Wednesday 26th November 2008 is another big pile of “not earning.”  I survived on savings (please refer to the online bank statement I have printed out for you).

Totem Films

On Thursday 27th November 2008 I was paid £30 by Totem Films for holding a boom mic pole (see photocopy of Nationwide statement).

Not Earning

Friday 28th November 2008 to Wednesday 11th February 2009 is another example of “not earning.”  I survived on savings.  This included £265 worth of Premium Bonds I cashed on 24th December, £1,000 worth of bonds on 14th January and £300 worth of bonds on 22nd January (all highlighted on the bank statements).

Benefits

On Thursday 12th February I received a one off benefits payment of £82.20 for a period of time that started sometime and ended on Wednesday 26th November.

Not Earning

Since Friday 13th February I have been “not earning” lots.  I cashed £4,100 worth of Premium Bonds 24th February to pay off my council tax, utility bills and two of my overdrafts.

Hope that made sense to somebody, now I just need to make it fit on the forms and photocopy all the supporting evidence (I will be employed again next week but I haven’t the heart to write about it at the moment).

Week commencing 23rd March (blogged four times)

Incoming: £5 from my Gran (she wants me to call her, presumably so she can beat me down). If this post suggested to you in any way that I’m scared of her, you’d be right.

Outgoing:

• £58 food
• £9 transport
• £11 stationery (they decided to charge my card a week after I’d bought the facepaints)
• £31 Vodafone
• £20 utilities
• £1 paid to Mr Piggles

Total: £129

End of Week Total: -£3,691

Well that has to be one of the most tedious posts I’ve written in a long time but I guess that’s what you get when you send pointless forms to a sick person.  As I haven’t been out much this week I had to find this week’s universal truth in my room.  I turned to the pinboard.

There it is.

There are lots of universal truthes lurking on the pinboard.  My Love2Love card screams “We ♥ a party”, my Chinese fortune whispers “You will be awarded some great honor.”  In February the calendar told me “If you cannot please everyone with your art, please a few.  To please many is bad.”

The one I decided on is this, the most meaningful thing I’ve ever seen written in a Christmas card;