Today the sun shone and I was offered a job, for a time it almost felt like I wasn’t in Stoke. In the email that offers me the job, just after the date, it says “PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL”. I’m not quite sure why they’re shouting but it’s probably because they know that one of my favourite hobbies is running my mouth. All I’ll say is that I’m going to get paid for some of my words sometime soon. In the meantime I have been given a very promising job tip which I will be following up tomorrow.
In other news, I’m still broke but didn’t get round to fully documenting it on Finance Friday. Expect a Finance Tuesday, Finance Wednesday or Finance Whenever I Feel Like It sometime this week.
Also today was the first of June which means I probably should have done deskscape, maybe later in the week. There is little to report; my desk is looking rather tidy, in a moment of boredom I arranged my loose change around my drink coaster, tennis player Ana Ivanovic takes on the mantle of Miss June in the FHM calendar.
If I have learnt one thing from this calendar it is that women can either dress themselves competently or be successful, but unfortunately not both. Ana fixes the viewer with a steely gaze, apparently oblivious to the fact that her black halter neck top is far too low cut and exposes her bright white bra to the world. She’s going to be so embarrassed when she finds out.
Another thing I’m slipping behind with is the set of icons I’m designing to represent all the challenges on this blog. Before I unveil the new batch let’s deal with some of the gripes from last time.
Challenge number three was to give blood. The first blood drop I drew was too tall, the second too tubby and the third one (unless you say otherwise) is just right. The blood people sent me a letter the other day. It says that I pump O-, a blood group that is shared by only 7% of the population but can be pumped into anyone (apparently “It’s often the only safe option when a patient’s blood group is unknown in an emergency, or in some specialised procedures for unborn babies.”)
Hopefully this will put a stop to the persistent rumours that if you cut me I bleed black unsweetened tea.
My fourth challenge is to get up at a reasonable time each morning. To make it more obvious I turned what was originally just a clock face into an alarm clock, by adding breasts. This was a mistake. I tried reshaping the breasts, I tried making them look like scary robot breasts and finally settled on making the breasts flatter, the nipples less erect and strapping them together. These are not breasts and anyone who says otherwise is a pervert.
This looks like a steering wheel to me, what does it look like to you? Feel free to answer honestly, this is just a set of icons and definitely not some kind of psychometric assessment. If I had any money at the moment I’d be spending it on rent and council tax (because those are my two favourite things) and not driving lessons, so not much progress is being made on this front.
The closest I ever got to explaining my degree situation properly was probably in this post; I have one third of a degree in Creative Writing and Journalism plus a handful of additional credits. The only journalism degree worth finishing would be one that is accredited by the National Council for the Training of Journalists (NCTJ), the only benefit of this being that you pick up the NCTJ certificates as you go. However, as 60% of people who enter journalism don’t have a degree in it you have the opportunity to pick up all the necessary NCTJ certificates in the first six months of the job. This makes me think the degree is pointless and maybe I should go for something more generalised such as English Literature (maybe through Open University) just to show a willingness to learn.
Above you can see the mortar boarded icon, now with added glasses based on Gingell’s suggestion.
8. Keep Eating Steak and Crumpets
One of the more creative icons but then again one of the more creative challenges. This is how the Yin-Yang would have looked if it had been designed by Doctor Atkins.
Well, that’s only three icons but it seems like enough for tonight. Gingell has gone down with some Stokie strain of the T-virus but if she makes it through the night we’re all going on a house outing to Trentham Gardens to walk barefoot (they have a website, I didn’t make that up).
Have fun, walk barefoot.
Scribs
Ay up, just to clarify on part 7. Yes you are right. You can get your NCTJ certificates while working. However, as lots of people have these when they apply for trainee jobs employers see little reason to pay for someone to do them. I applied three times to get a job with my first paper, as a trainee, as a junior reporter, and once I’d got my certificates myself ( £700 20 week course in Liverpool) they said yes straightaway (cheapos). They would then pay for me to do the NCE which is the qualification which gives you senior status.
Hope that helps.
As for the other stuff you’ve written.
I’m not allowed to give blood becuase I pass out half way through donating my pint. I’d do it as often as I could otherwise.
The steering wheel looks exactly as you describe but if you NEED an alternative suggestion could it look like someone wearing a thong, bending over, being perved on through a peephole?
Sorry to lower the tone. Hoepfully my journo advice first stands me in good stead.
Don’t worry about lowering the tone, I’m not sure my blog has a tone :p I thought that too, a lady in a black thong getting perved on through a cruise ship portal by passing sailors (okay maybe I over thought that).
The passing out while giving blood doesn’t sound pleasant. The NCTJ info was useful, at least I know I can pick them up if needs be.
News on the job front; I have a job interview tomorrow in Birmingham (I shall re-read the job description and maybe give you further details later), also got through to Rob, will be back in the office on Monday 22nd (after his holiday) but have no idea on what basis.
Plus I went on the Trentham Gardens barefoot walk and will be blogging/ Twitpicing it very soon, might make another cup of tea first.
I quite like the Complete My Degree icon!